OK, OK, so the school year is looming closer and closer. It is my third year in a two year program. I feel like a fossil. A very young fossil with a lot to learn, but a fossil nonetheless. This was the plan from the beginning, but as it nears the end of things, it's harder to deal with. Watching my peers embark on career paths and enter into phD programs is difficult. I didn't attend their graduation because I couldn't help but feel left out--those are the kids I should have walked with (and, because I'm not completely emo, I'll add that I got some overtime for the shift that made me miss the ceremony. What's more important in the long run is that I showed up at the parties with booze). As it stands, the group I will graduate with is primarily rhet/comp, the majority of them slightly older than me, most of them with families. I get along with all of them, but can't help feeling slightly separated and yeah, a lil lonely.
And that's enough feeling sorry for myself. I am in a program with some great students who, because they specialize in the rhet/comp area, are more knowledgable in the teaching/grading aspect of things. I have a lot to learn from them--not just in the academic arena, but in the how-to-manage-a-family-at-the-same-time arena. Furthermore, I chose to do three years in this program from the getgo, so no reason to look down at my feet now. I plan to attack this year with as much energy as I have previously. I mean, heck--I've got a light load this coming semester. Two classes? Compared to my usual four? Bring it! Although (for the record) I will also busy myself with:
--teaching a whole new class, Comp 2, in addition to a completely revamped and web-assisted Comp 1
--applying to phD programs--I have seven in mind at this point (any input as to whether this is enough?)
--working on, if not completing, my Master's paper--hopefully as my writing sample to said phD programs.
--working on, of course, my personal statement: Why am I doing this to myself?
--working in a medical office, under my new title. In addition, I have become the office's primary transcriptionist (I told them I would no longer settle to be the "other" transciptionist. I am no one's mistress).
--performing in a few dance venues locally, in September and December--likely offering some choreography of my own (this will entail about 6-8 hrs per week, more so as things near the performance. My dance friends always laugh at me b/c I grade papers backstage. My family is horrified that I have finally become my mother, the woman famous for grading papers at red lights:)