Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Das Kitten

On Monday when I came home for lunch to check on Kitten she was doing a very good impression of a kitten that is going to die soon. Since I didn't have a Kitten Oscar to give her for her excellent performance, I opted for my second choice, the Kitten Paramedics. The vet took her in right away (love this place--they're the same ones who only charged us $20 for an office visit when Dog chewed cinderblocks) and agreed with me that the kitten "ain't right" (my words, not hers).

Now, I fed Kitten before getting her to the vet--she had an appetite and was purring, but was also doing a lot twitching and making very strange sounds. She would start to to run and then collapse over on herself like a drunk ass. When I called for the appointment that's pretty much exactly how I put it: "Do you have a diagnosis for a twitchy kitten making alien noises?" This seemed to alarm the woman on the phone, thus the immediate appointment.

Of course, once the appointment is made, Kitten begins to behave (as much as the lil varmint can--she has been called Satan Kitty on occasion). She played nicely in her box the whole way there, and was fairly congenial with everyone (she had the entire staff melting, she's so cute) until the vet started to poke and prod at her. The vet called her "grumpy" and I took offense, as I would be grumpy too if you took my temperature that way.

What concerned the vet was Kitten's apparent lack of anything resembling motor control. Granted, she is only four weeks old; even still, she's a bit more "wobbly" than your average kitten (she has been called Drunk Kitty on occasion). This means there is something neurological going on. The vet used scary words that started with "cerebral" and ended with "--phasia" with a few daunting syllables inbetween, but it really just means wobbly.

She also used the term "head trauma" and asked if Kitten may have hit her head on something. Memories of kitten running full bore into the wall came to mind (she has been called Kamikaze Kitty on occasion), and then another memory of an unidentified 'thud' in the middle of the night. "It's possible" I shrugged. But this is OK, vet said, b/c Kittens brains are not fuly connected in all the right ways, so if they get shaken up, there's usually not any permanent damage done.

There is the mystery, however, of the kitten being found alone without a mother or siblings. Did Mama cat know Kitten "weren't right"? Possible birth defect. I am to keep an eye on Kitten, who is doing a better job of keeping an eye on me as she helps me type this blog. I am encouraged that despite her lack of motor skills she is practicing her leaps and her climbing and best of all, her purring.


Matt said...

Whoa. Freaky Oliver Sacks Kitty! You could write a heartwarming and thought-provoking bestseller.

Or, even better, perhaps she’ll develop superpowers.

Disclaimer: Commenter not attempting humor at expense of brain-damaged kittens. That would be inhuman. But, still, you know…

Additional Disclaimer: If I’m double-posting, I’m embarrassed, but something seems to have gone wrong with my first attempt. Too much HTML or somethin’

I got an "A" in Crazy Beeyotch said...

If this kitten were to have any super power, it would be the ability to find any bare skin, even in the smallest amount, despite the layers of clothing or blanket involved, and claw/bite ravenously at said mminiscule spot. Its quite endearing, really.