Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Why my husband needs life insurance

When I told him that I thought pregnant women who wear floral prints look like couches he looked up and, studying the polyester flowers on my shirt for a moment, replied, "No, you look more like an armchair."

His idea of turning the Jeep Wrangler into a "family sedan" is installing a backseat--with seatbelts, and replacing the five-point harnesses in the front seats with "civilian" seatbelts.

When he hears tornado sirens, he goes outside to storm chase on foot.

He has not one, but TWO motorcycles. I'm not sure exactly how the math works out on this one, but I believe it effectively doubles his chances of falling off. I wouldn't put it past him to try to ride them both at the same time.

One of these motorcycles was a "surprise" purchase.

Last Saturday he caught himself on fire.


He referred to me as "Pregnasaurus Rex"

He butters his meatloaf.


JC said...

I honestly think he'd run into my wife when the tornado sirens go off (were we nearby). But the rest ... yeah. Can I get some easy money with a policy, too?

(Although I'll admit, I did chuckle at the sofa/chair comment, and "pregnasaurus rex" is a bon mot -- if not really the right thing to say right now!)

Just keep reminding yourself of the good things! (And be patient when you explain the virtues of a proper sedan.)

I got an "A" in Crazy Beeyotch said...

These ARE the good things, to be sure. I've resigned myself to midnight trips to the ER (they know us) and carrying a first aid kit in my purse--after all, it just makes life exciting:) Just a day after this post he nearly lost an eye trying to get his RC airplane out of a tree with a bow and arrow--

I guess I don't help things, since I'm the one who bought him the bow and arrow (what the insurance company doesn't know won't hurt them).

and for the record--he's down to just the one motorcycle now.