When I told him that I thought pregnant women who wear floral prints look like couches he looked up and, studying the polyester flowers on my shirt for a moment, replied, "No, you look more like an armchair."
His idea of turning the Jeep Wrangler into a "family sedan" is installing a backseat--with seatbelts, and replacing the five-point harnesses in the front seats with "civilian" seatbelts.
When he hears tornado sirens, he goes outside to storm chase on foot.
He has not one, but TWO motorcycles. I'm not sure exactly how the math works out on this one, but I believe it effectively doubles his chances of falling off. I wouldn't put it past him to try to ride them both at the same time.
One of these motorcycles was a "surprise" purchase.
Last Saturday he caught himself on fire.
He referred to me as "Pregnasaurus Rex"
He butters his meatloaf.