Sunday, September 7, 2008

Fast food, good cause

My sister has an intimate relationship with my answering machine. Well, just about anyone who calls here halfway regularly does. I don't answer the phone. Its typically not worth it. Nor do I carry a phone around with me that will ring (inevitably) during class or some other such inopportune moment, particularly considering that I wouldn't answer that phone, either. So, people call and leave lengthy messages and I call them back at a time suitable to me. It's something about being busy all day long, deadline crunches, customer service, that makes me unwilling to give my free time away to someone who isn't even physically there.

Her answering machine message: Wendy's kids meals have really great toys right now. So if I'm out and about being graduate studenty and not eating, or only ate gummi-bears for breakfast (mmmm...), I should stop by Wendy's for a Kids Meal, and send the toy in her direction.

Dutiful sister and aunt that I am, I develop a hankerin' for some fountain pop and a Jr. Bacon, and now I've got this great CandyLand toy. This got me to thinking--if I always order the kids meal, I can develop a toy collection! Substandard toys, yes--but toys nonethless! At this point, when the kids come over, they go directly to the subwoofer, because they know that on top of it is the R2D2 figurine, and the upper half of Darth Sith (He's meant to come apart, as he gets chopped in half in the movie. Can't find his legs, though). In my defense, its not that the kids are horribly bored when they come over; they usually go run on the trail behind our house. Still, makes sense that I have a few tricks up my sleeve, even if those tricks are fastfood-quality toys.

I eat fast food. I do. I'm not going to turn my nose up and deny McDonald's three times before the cock crows. When I am out running the road (I've put 1500 miles on my Jeep since we bought it a month ago), Mickey-D's or some other such garbage is what's available. It suits my time schedule, and it doesn't upset my stomach. I don't have one of those ultra-sensitive "My stomach hurts when I eat roadkill because I eat well consistently" stomachs.

Anyway, one thing that often vexes me, in dealing with fast food, is the gigundo portion of food that I'm only really going to eat half of. Another thing that vexes me, is that I have eight nieces and nephews age ten and under, and no toys for them to play with when they come over (aside from the poor little star wars figurines that we've acquired-I say acquired so as to not underscore our geekiness). I believe I have found a single solution to these two unrelated vexations!

1 comment:

Mr. Desmond said...

...days late, but I can't remain silent on this very emotional issue. You have spoken for ME, for all of us stranded here in Virtuous Right-Thinking Vegan Land. The Jr. Bacon tastes good!

There. I said it.

And today I had f***in' Burger King. Yeah. I'm not ashamed. Not too ashamed, anyway.

...but those toys always SUCKED. I mean, I know that was the draw, but the awful food provokes so much more of an emotional response in me now than the awful toys ever did. Although perhaps the toys have improved, who knows? The food, it needs no improvement. It's perfect the awful way it is.