Sunday, September 14, 2008

Home sweet Home

I just returned from what may very likely be the worst bachelorette party experience of my life. The list of party offenses is long. I had so much fun that I graded all of my student's papers. Yes, at the bachelorette party. And no one noticed that it may have been rude to grade papers at such an event, because they were too busy bickering amongst themselves and gushing about an over expensive wedding. I was the token "representing the groom's side" invitee, anyway. Urgh. My brain hurts, quite literally. I'm just not that girly.

Or maybe I'm just not that interested in weddings, and the entourage of events that accompany them. I think its an extension of the cult of perfect motherhood--the cult of the perfect wedding. It is a very emotionally destructive and ridiculously expensive way to look at things. People seem to forget that a wedding is just a big friggin par-tay, and instead insist that the hall, color scheme, table settings, music choices, and countless other menial details be SET IN STONE AT LEAST TWO YEARS BEFORE THE DATE. Fuck.

So the wedding just set the happy couple and their parents farther into debt than my phD program ever will, and still I'm the impractical one. That's all besides the fact that when it comes down to it, the night's over just like any other night, and whether or not you served the mashed potatoes with the skins on or off will ony be remembered by the cruel promulgators of this wedding-cult regime. There's so much emphasis (and money) put on the silly day and time that no one reminds the couple of what comes next: marriage. More time needs to spent on preparing young couples for a life together, if this is what they've chosen. It's great to get the dream wedding, sure--but not if the partner is just a pawn to get to the fairy tale.

When I got back today from crappy bachelorette party (see above), Floyd told me that he and my oldest brother had been talking, and decided it would be really cool to fix up my brother's Z71 pick up (or some other such alphanumeric title). They want to chop off the top of it so it's like a souped up convertible, and then they plan to baja with it in our backyard. Now that's my kind of man. Maybe a little reckless. But he's always thinkin, that one.

I am happy to be home. I could use a backyard baja right about now.


Dedalus said...

You know I've never actually attended a bachelor party? Partly because true dedicated bachelor-party-type-guys quite sensibly avoid people like me, and partly because all of my friends are either emphatically single or were married long before I met them. I'm still waiting for my chance at Retrograde Communal Male Debauchery.

Weddings, yeah. Didn't have one, thank christ. Hsd a barbecue. That was okay, I guess. Still too many family members for my comfort level. From both sides.

I have no quarrel with your feminist critique of the American Wedding, certainly. No mistaking the fact that it's much more about you (women, that is) than about us. Me, I always had some vaguely marxist critique about bourgeois pretensions--the play-acting of the obsolete rituals of a class that the people paying for the ritual don't belong to, if it even actually exists.

I got an "A" in Crazy Beeyotch said...

The only other bachelorette party I've ever attended involved drinking, dancing, and penis pasta. I left wondering, what made that party different than any other party I've ever been to ?

I didn't realize it was a feminist critique. More like a rant. Yes, weddings are about the bride, in many cases; but they're often for the families. That's the only reason I went through the wedding ritual rather than just eloping.

However, we didn't go broke doing it--hell, we MADE money. It was a fairly lucrative business transaction, with a good party thrown into the mix. All of our friends made professional contributions (ie photography, catering music) so that it was very intimate, not just a giant bill.

And in the end, our families were well pleased.

Dedalus said...